Life as I know it.....or use to know it

June 14th  Well this is it... My treatments are done.  I'm on my way back to my life.  It's been a long journey that's for sure.  I hope I've come through this a different person.  Physically and mentally.  I hope I look at life a little different now.  Maybe not stress over things that I cannot change and give more attention to the things I can.  I know through all of this I have made such wonderful friends and become closer to the friends that I already had. 
My physical appearance has definitely changed.  I still have no breasts, my hair is extremely short and about 15 lbs lighter... well that part may be a good thing.  I had been trying to lose a little weight :)  I do NOT however, recommend chemo as a weight loss program.  hahaha.  My son announced to us that he is getting married July 30th.  I truly hope that I at least have fake breasts by then.  I hate to have pictures taken looking like this.  People that don't know us will think Michael has 2 daddy's.  Hmmm, maybe I should wear a tux to the wedding or maybe a really frilly dress so people will know. 
This blog has been a great comfort to me.  I have used it to voice my feelings and to keep up with some of my friends and family.  Anyone that knows me knows that I have to voice my feelings and opinions.  Everyone wants my thoughts right?  :)  
I return to work tomorrow.  Please say a prayer for me.  Actually, maybe we better say a prayer for the people I work with :) 

What's normal?

June 2nd  Today is the last day of my "normal" radiation treatments.  Starting tomorrow I begin something called boosters.  It's a little more intensive and aim directly on my mastectomy scar.  According to my doctor, breast cancer has a higher chance of reoccuring in the scar area, so they do 5 treatments directly to the scar.  Hopefully, this will ward off any chance of the cancer coming back. 
My bloodcounts have been coming back a little low the last 3 weeks.   I think it's so funny that my WBC & platelets were within normal limits all during my chemo but now....At this time they aren't really concerned about them but the doc said that if they drop much lower I will need to wear a mask out in public.  Dr Price said that this could be a side effect of the radiation hitting the sternum.  Apparently, the sternum is a big enough producer of bone marrow that it can make a difference in my blood count.  I've lost a little weight so for right now my bones are not hidden very well by fat and this means they are getting the full strenth of radiation.  I'm sure once I get back to work by bones will be covered by lots of fat.  We love to eat at work :)  Well, when I'm "normal" I just love to eat. 

Best gift ever

I might need a haircut, or at least a good color job :)
Notice my pink crocs.  Great for bike riding.x

Bird House

May 30th  The definition of inactivity....Sitting on the porch with a hat on and a bird lands on it  :)  Cannot get any more stationary than that.  hahaha.  Maybe I better ride my bike more.

Thank You

May 20th I'm not sure that I have been expressing my gratitude and love lately for my friends and family.  I think it's been a while since I have told everyone how much I love them.  I will never be able to repay all that has been done for me over the last 7 months.  Maybe my answer for this disease is that it has put life in perspective.  Not because of the things that have been given to me, which is so overwhelming I'll never be able to explain, but because of the love that I have seen by so many.  The love that is given is not all due to me I'm sure.  It's due to the kind hearts of those around me.  If anyone ever thinks that our world has gone to hell then take a look around my small but magnificent group.  Why God has been so generous as to put these people in my life I will never know.  I know that I will try for the rest of my life to repay them.

Animal Planet

May 20th  You realize just how boring your life has become when you find yourself setting on your deck and you are truly interested in a toad that is eating ants.  I must have watched this fat toad for about 1/2 hour before I realized what I was doing.  Did I mention that the last nice day we had I was mesmerized by a little snake.  Oh well, it's a beautiful day and any reason to be sitting in the sun.  Really only 1/2 of me is in the sun.  The other half looks like I'm going on an expedition to the Artic :)  Okay, maybe not quite that bad but it feels like it.   I do have a couple of tomato plants that I need to get in the ground.  It's hard for me to dig up the soil however due to my arm situation.  Sounds like another chore to add to the "Dan" list.  I'm sure he's going to be SO happy when I'm released and back to work. 
The radiation is definitely not as bad as chemo.  It is having it's challenges though.  My radiologist told me that I am a strange creature.  Hmmm, good or bad??  My left side resembles a case of measles with a horrific sunburn.  The doctor feels that I have had an allergic reaction to the radiation.  No surprises here.  She's been trying several different cremes and I'm confident that one of them will work.  Favor to ask, is anyone available to braid the hair in my left armpit.  It's becoming a little unruly.  Maybe a ponytail holder?  hahaha  

Changing

May 12th  I think it's hit me.  Dr Price had told me that being tired was a huge part of radiation and you know what......she was right.  The hot flashes have become more of a large burn instead of a flash so sleeping has become non existent.   My biggest complained however, is that I'm so hot on the inside that it's hard for me to sit outside and let the sun warm me on the out side.  The sun, it's been what I have been yearning for all winter and spring and now it's here.  It's not the same looking at it from inside the house as it is being outside and feeling it on my face and skin.  I just don't understand why with all the advancements in medicine that they haven't come up with some type of medication for hot flashes.  Dr Whitaker told me I may not really even be in menopause right now.  It could just still be the effects of chemo.  He has done a blood test to let me know.  Do I still have menopause to look forward to after this?  Wow, if this isn't the change then does it get worse?  I think it's unfair that I could have had a few years before the change started but because of cancer...well, if I am in the middle of the change I can't wait to see what I might change into.  Maybe a 30 year old model???? Hmmm, the change might not be so bad :)