A new look....again

April 22nd  I had an appointment today at the hospital. This appointment is to measure me for the radiation treatments.  The radiologist uses a machine that is called a simulator.  It "simulates" my treatment, whatever that means.  The machine looked like a CT scanner to me.  It simulates where the doctor will actually be doing the radiation treatment on my body.  They want to try NOT to hit any of my organs during the laser treatments, at least as much as possible.  The doctors have already given me a list of the long term side effects and several of my organs will be affected, at least a little,  the bottom of my left lung, the top of my heart, possibly my stomach and thyroid??? Are we surprised by this,  NO!!!  This entire cancer issue has been a list of side effects.  Well, if they happen I will deal with them then.
So.... while I'm laying in the simulator the doctor uses a permanent magic marker to draw lines up and down my chest.  Yes, just a regular old marker.  Between the scars and marker I look like a road map.  Of course she couldn't use just a black marker, I have black, blue and green :) Very colorful.  She then says, "don't wash these lines off, no soap or lotions in that area".  Okay, this is my armpit area we are talking about.  No soap and no shaving,  so stinky and hairy.  Just the look I was going for, like a flower child from the 60's.  hahaha  No hair with chemo, and unruly hair with radiation.  I am just ever changing.  When I turned 49 this year I had said I wanted to change my look, this was a little more changing than I had meant however :)
I am going to have 33 treatments.  I think this will put me toward the first of June when I finish.  It seems that I may be coming to the end of this ordeal.  A new life just in time for summer.... I'm ready.

Ladies in Pink

Race for the Cure

April 16th  Today was the Race for the Cure.  My friends Amber & Christie worked so hard to form a team for me.  Patti's Tata's.  Appropriate name don't you think?  However, maybe it should have been called Patti's No Tata's :)  We had a great turn out of walkers.  The weather was miserable so I was really surprised to see so many people.  I prayed really hard that the rain would hold off and it did.  The power of prayer right?   I had never been to the walk before, WOW!  I think they said that 40,000 people was the final count.  Isn't that amazing.  There were even participants that have been survivors for  40 years +.  I also spoke to many women that were like me, new survivors.  My heart was heavy with one lady.  I would say she was in her 20's.  So young and she had a little girl around 2 years old.  She was a 3 1/2 month survivor.  She has stage 3 like me but hers was also in her spine.  I just haven't thought about how such young girls can get this horrible disease.  She was very up beat and said the doctors have a handle on it.  I think of her often and hope everyone will put her in their prayers.  That little baby girl needs her mommy. 
I didn't actually walk this year.  Still having a few issues with my feet, but next year watch out.  Maybe I'll run it.... yeah right. hahaha  My sister and Celeste walked around with me to all the different booths.  Lots and lots of booths.  We didn't get to all of them.  As slow as I walk by the time we got to some of them they were packing up.  We ended up walking to the finish line so that we could applaud our team as they crossed the finish line.  
Thank you to everyone, walkers and donors.  This team, this walk couldn't be possible without everyone.   I truly felt very loved.

Radiation

April 15th  This has been an interesting week.  Had a couple of different doctor visits.  One with my oncologist and one with my new doctor, Dr Price.  She is my radiologist.  She will be the one to administer the radiation treatments.  My first appointment with Dr Whitaker was a little nerve racking for me.  When Dan & I arrived we weren't sure what he would tell us.  We knew that 3 of my lymph nodes still showed cancer.  We had hoped that when they removed them in surgery none of the nodes would show cancer, so now what???  Dr Whitaker was as optimistic as ever.  He said that he hadn't been surprised about the lymph nodes.  We asked him about more chemo, fortunately or unfortunately, however you look at it, there is no other chemo that will benefit me.  He said that I have had both kinds.  Sometimes the chemo is given, one type before surgery and one type after surgery.  I had both types before.  So now on to radiation.  I truly loved the radiologist.  She put everything out on the line, the good and bad.  We were in her office for over an hour.  All of my doctors have been like this, never rushing.  She gave us a list of the side effects, short term and long term.  Okay, the one that I cringed out the most.....the effected area cannot be exposed to the sun, at all, for one year.  What? I can't do this.  My favorite thing is to be outside soaking up the sun's rays.  So how do I find a bathing suit that covers my left arm, left breast area and left shoulder?  Okay, covering my left breast won't be hard but my left arm and shoulder?  That's a pretty crazy bathing suit.  I guess tshirts it is.  Dr Price also said the worst side effect will be tiredness.  Haven't we had that before?  She said that I will need to take a couple of naps during the day.  Shouldn't be hard.  I've been doing that since chemo.  I will have 33 treatments.  Not sure when they will actually start.  I go next week for a CAT scan with markers.  This is how they measure exactly where the laser will zap me.  Oh yea, and I can't shave my left arm pit.  Are you kidding me!  Well I guess I really won't be wearing a bathing suit anyway.  More like a long sleeve shirt if I can't shave.  Isn't it funny, no hair at all while on chemo and now more hair than  I'll know what to do with.  Talk about swinging from one side of the pendulum to the other.  Cancer, what an experience.....

Recovery, not for the weak.

April 6th  Recovery is going well.  I have started to use a pulley that Dan put up on my closet door.  My right arm is pretty close to normal.  It still gets tired fairly easy and I'm not suppose to lift anything with it yet.  My left arm.... well that's a whole other story.  Wow,  I would never have thought the recovery would be this painful.  I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.  I mean when you have your armpit rummaged through to find the lymph nodes I guess it can make it a little sore :P And talk about ugly, I guess armpits really aren't too pretty anyway but now.....well I guess my armpit won't be doing any modeling anytime soon :) 
There is no sign of lymphodema yet which is a big plus.  Maybe I'll be one of the lucky women that doesn't get it.  Lymphodema is a condition that mastectomy patients can get.  For a better term, elephant arm.  Wouldn't that be a pretty picture.  The surgeon said that your hand can increase by 2 or 3 ring sizes.  I am however, refusing to get that.  Hey, Dan bought me a gorgeous wedding band and I am not having it re sized.   I told Dr Cam that he had better find a way to prevent it.  I cannot be bothered with a huge arm.  I mean, come on,  I can't afford to buy new clothes.  Hmmm, I wonder if you can buy a shirt with 2 different arm sizes anyway. hahaha.
 I am having trouble finding shirts to fit right now though.  Most of them are either too tight around my arm,  it's still uncomfortable for my right arm, or too big around my chest.  I try to always wear a jacket and scarf,  just so the poor fit isn't as noticeable.  I'm sure the only one that notices is me anyway but I find myself uncomfortable in public.  I'm not sure what I will do if the weather gets any warmer.  I already find myself sweating with so many layers.  I'll be the only one you see with shorts, flip flops and then 2 shirts, a jacket and a scarf.  Talk about a fashion statement :)
My hair has started coming back in.  I look a little like Demi Moore in GI Jane, well from the forehead up :)  It's pretty gray but really soft.  Hopefully, I won't even have to wear a bandana soon.  If I do need more chemo I want them to do it soon while my hair is still very short.  I don't want to go through that whole loosing my hair thing again.  That was such a messy process.  I'm not sure who shed more, me or the dog.   The vet uses ShedX on dogs, I wonder if it can be used on humans..... maybe a new invention hahaha