Port of Call

Nov 5th  Today was going to be my surgery day but since the docs have postponed that, we are going to use the timeslot for the port.  Now I have been thinking this whole time that a port looks like the IV stint they put in your arm but the port would be in my chest.  Well I have 1/2 of it right, as usual LOL.  This "thing" looks like the cap from a 2 liter soft drink.  They insert the entire cath under my skin.  Now I have 3 little nodules on my chest :)   The mini surgery went very well.  They didn't knock me completely out so the recovery time was minimal.  Normally I'm out it for the rest of the day.  I think the worst part of the entire day is the not eating.  I love to eat.  We went to a Chinese restaurant the night before and I really stuffed myself hoping it would tied me over.  For some reason it doesn't quite work that way.  The nurses said nothing after midnight but the surgery wasn't until 2:30 so I drank a cup of coffee.  I don't advise this but anyone that knows me know that I have to have my java. After the surgery I felt good.  Not my best ever but able to function.  I will say about 8pm I started getting tired and sore.  I can't really discribe how this thing feels other than sore.  It's kinda a weird feeling.  I guess it's better than getting an IV every week for Chemo and I'm sure I'll get use to it.  Don't we always get use to things when we have to...
One thing that did happen yesterday which kinda surprised me.  I cried a little right before they put me to sleep.  The nurse was talking to me about what they were getting ready to do and she patted my face and smiled.  I didn't cry hard or bawl like a baby.  If you know me at all you know I'm not a bawler.  Nothing wrong with it, just not me.  I'm not sure why I cried, but tears started running down my face.  The nurse lovingly wipped them away.  She probably had to because of course I wore mascara to the hospital and I began to look like Alice Cooper,  I know, I know what you're all thinking....VAIN.  I admit it.   Mom always said to look the best that you can.  See mom I did listen  lmao.   Anyway, I digress,  the crying doesn't mean I depressed.  It was just a day of reckoning for me.  I told Dan that until today I kept expecting Dr Cam to tell me they had made a mistake.  That I didn't have cancer.....Now I know in my heart they haven't made a mistake, I have the huge knot in my left breast to prove it but I was still hoping.  I think having the port inserted made me realize that Yes, I am on a marathon.
A LONG ONE>